Thursday, June 26, 2014

He is a Choice

Comparison to others is something I have always done to myself. Something I have always struggled with. Lately, I have been feeling Him say to my heart "Kristen, are you going to compare yourself to others, or are you going to compare yourself to who I created you to be? To my plans for you? Are you going to choose me?"

As I have been contemplating this over the past few months, I have been noticing something. Comparison is a theme in everyone's life.  Sometimes it is harmful, sometimes it is helpful. As I have been going through my own feelings with comparison a thought hit me. I compare myself to what others let me see. People, by nature, only let others see a small portion of their lives. I know I do. This causes a terrible epidemic. Comparison, coupled with inauthenticity, is a dangerous things. This allows us to either consider ourselves better or worse than the ones to whom we compare ourselves with. 

Is it wrong for people to not show every aspect of their dirty, messy, wonderful lives? No. What is the problem, however, is when we choose to judge or condemn others or ourselves based on what we see. We see a very limited view, and we need to remember that. In comparing ourselves, we blind ourselves to fulfillment in Christ--in who He died for, in who His Father created us to be, in what He has for us.

Essentially, this is the point I am trying to say: in seeking comparison, to be better than others, to be more "righteous", are we hindering the completion of us in Christ? 

Imagine for a second the worst part of your life, or your marriage, or your family--the absolute worst fight or situation. Imagine your reactions. Now, imagine that all of that, completely on display for the world to see. The people you care about, the people you care that have opinions of you, your family, your friends....imagine them seeing how truly terrible you can react or beneath a polished veneer that we showcase on a daily basis. A polished veneer that is comprised of opinions, beliefs, smiles, and attitudes that you allow others to see. If you are like me, there is a sigh of relief, that my shortcomings are not on display for all to see. 

If there was a sigh of relief, then why do we compare?! Why do we criticize, judge, condemn others issues that are on public display, when we have issues in our private lives that we refuse to acknowledge? We should be iron sharpening iron, the body of Christ--unified and working together. When we judge and criticize because of comparison, we hurt that unity, not help it. 

On the flip side, when we compare ourselves, and find ourselves "weighed, measured, and wanting", then we are still hindering the confidence and completion Christ has for us. This is my greatest struggle. In my head, I consistently say to God, that He created someone more worthless than whoever I am comparing myself to that day. Can I believe the Bible and call God a liar (unintentionally, but still)? God creates each of us individually, each hand crafted, each a masterpiece, each priceless--in the physical world, wealthy people collect things with those labels, so why is it so hard to translate to the spiritual world? So, again, I find myself remembering that Christ is a choice. He isn't a one time choice to gain entry to heaven. He is a daily choice. He is a daily reminder and remembrance. Whatever I am facing that day---He is my choice. He created me, for me, with certain gifts to help further His Kingdom. I've messed up, reacted poorly, and failed more times than I can count. Does that matter? No, He still welcomes me with the same open arms He had on the cross for me. I do not sin so that grace may abound, but I choose to be shaped, molded, and continued to be worked on for Him. good segue to my updates on pregnancy so....

You Know Your Pregnant When:

1. Shaving your legs becomes an Olympic sport combined of yoga and contortion. 
2. Every twinge makes you wonder if your'e actually feeling baby move, or was than an organ migrating?
3. Your husband stares at your expanding belly...among other things that are expanding
4. Finally, for once, you are warmer than your and yah. 
5. You are amazed at how many people want you to know the baby's gender, persistently so
6. You play mean jokes on those persistent people and tell them you know when you really don't...
7. You realize no one warns you for the skeletal baby skull in the ultrasound. 
8. Your hips. Oh. My. Word. The. Pain!
9. You walk up the stairs and your breathless, not because you are out of shape, but because you are in an entirely different shape at the moment. 
10. You make a rule that unless you have a craving for 3 days, it isn't valid and will pass. 

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