Wednesday, December 31, 2014

He is New

It is 12:26 am on New Year's Day. The first New Year's Simeon and I have stayed up for in at least three years (the irony of staying up the first year we have a newborn and going to bed early the other three years without one is not lost on me). I am sitting at home, hoping for a reflective spirit of the year behind and of the year ahead, whilst my wonderful husband is retrieving my forgotten phone from our friends's house...again.

Aside from the Times Square celebration playing on the TV, there was no cheering for 2015, no special kiss at midnight, no confetti. This evening, there were friends and families gathered, games played, and conversations shared. 2015 isn't really a new beginning, there's no clean slate, things that happened December 31, 2014, are still going to happen January 1, 2015 (with the exception of messing up checks).

There is always a spirit of new-ness when the new year rings in, though. Why do we crave the resolutions, the new, the clean, the refreshed? We crave Him. We crave the newness of life, the cleanliness, and the refreshment that only He, our Savior and Lord can provide. We celebrate His birth on December 25th every year, but the real joyous occasion, is that we can taste, enjoy and receive the new-ness He has to offer every day of the year.

So this year, let your old bad habits become clean. Let your good habits that have fallen to the wayside become renewed. Sure, go ahead and make that New Year's Resolution. But let Christ make you clean, let God create in you a new heart, and let the Holy Spirit continue to refresh you, because that, is what I am hoping for in the year 2015--that He continues the good work in me, and that I allow it.

Every year, I find a verse that I seem to speak as my own over the year, one I cling to when I desperately need it. Last year, was a simple "Be still and know that I am your God." This year, is seems to be a little hackneyed since I used it on our Christmas 'card' and our New Year's card,  but it is my prayer for the year ahead---I think we will need quite a bit o' peace after all.

Happy New Year, and may it be blessed, indeed!

"Now may the Lord of peace himself give you his peace at all times and in every situation. The Lord be with you all."
2 Thessalonians 3:16 

Tuesday, December 2, 2014

His Cost is Greater

Thanksgiving is tomorrow! Where has the time gone?! As I was sitting here, I had what I was most thankful for. Isn't it obvious? Of course it is our little Adelaide Joy. However, then I got to thinking why I was thankful for her. There's the obvious reasons--ones that you have all heard and gone through with us along the way. Then I thought about the cost of having Addie--and just how brilliant the cost was.

You see, having her cost me so much in life--so very much. 

She cost me my bitterness. 
She cost me my selfishness,
She cost me my sorrow.
She cost me my fear.
She cost me my hopelessness.
She cost me my anger.
She cost me my self-inflicted loneliness. 
She cost me my empty arms. 
She cost me my unblemished stomach. 
She cost me time with my husband. 
She cost me my time to myself. 

Having her has cost me, and will continue to cost me these things, and my friends. I am glad. 

She cost me my bitterness, and replaced it with sweetness. 
She cost me selfishness, and it gave way to selflessness. 
She cost me my sorrow, and it blossomed to joy.
She cost my my fear, and it died to courageousness. 
She cost me my hopelessness, and it turned to believing. 
She cost me my anger, and it melted away to peace.
She cost me my loneliness, and created togetherness. 
She cost me my empty arms, and constantly made them full. 
She cost my my unblemished stomach and instead I have a permanent reminder of God's faithfulness.
She cost me time with Simeon, and changed it to time as a family.
She cost me time to myself and created time for reflection on God's goodness.

She will continue to "cost" me, test me, and teach me, Some of the "costs" will be hard to accept, some of them will be hard to let go of. I would be lying if I said that having her hasn't made my life easier with less reason for bitterness and anger, God has done more than give me her, in His mercy, He has freed me from so many internal struggles of mine. Oh, they will rear their ugly heads, but when I look at Addie, there will no longer be doubts of God's personalized goodness towards me. So I will take on every sleepless night, every bewildering crying fit, every dirty diaper, and every bit of spit up, because when I look at Addie, I see a promise kept, a truth revealed, and love demonstrated, and I know that it is well with my soul,

When I see the "costs" of Addie, I think of what it cost our Heavenly Father to place Jesus Christ on the cross. To allow it. For that reason, I am even more eternally grateful, and pray with all my might, that Adelaide will one day understand the cost of the Father for her. His cost is so much greater than my own.

* This post was started the day before Thanksgiving, but because of Addie and a family filled weekend, it was not finished until today.