Thursday, April 20, 2017

The Hard

It's hard being motherless. 
It's hard being a mother. 
It's hard desiring a child, with no end to waiting in sight. 
It's hard having a child. 
It's hard wishing for messes from little ones to clean up. 
It's hard cleaning up messes as soon as you've just cleaned. 
It's hard wanting a baby to rock and cuddle with. 
It's hard having a baby that only wants to be rocked and cuddled with.
It's hard seeing your Facebook feed inundated with baby announcements. 
It's hard seeing your Facebook feed inundated by adventurous couples. 
It's hard wanting to help someone as they have a sick child. 
It's hard being that someone who has a sick child.
It's hard passing by baby clothing and wanting to buy, but not having a reason to. 

It's hard finding deals/hand-me-downs for children that fit in your budget.
It's hard seeing pictures of babies, messy with food, and you wishing for that. 

It's hard cooking for your children, and all they do is fight it. 
It's hard feeling so alone and lonely inside. 
It's hard feeling like you never have a moment to yourself. 
It's hard to want your body to change with life inside it. 
It's hard to get your body to change once life is outside it. 
It's hard researching all the reasons why you're not pregnant. 
It's hard realizing all the reasons you no longer want to be pregnant. 
It's hard to deal with the guilt from not being supportive of your pregnant friend. 
It's hard to deal with the guilt of not wanting to be a mother. 
It's hard to stay in God's word when it seems His promises do not apply to you. 
It's hard to stay in God's word when you feel like there's no quiet time to be with Him. 
It's hard to want to be with your husband because he doesn't understand the desire. 
It's hard to FIND TIME to be with your husband. 

Mothers...It. Is. Hard. It's all hard. Both spectrums, completely different, completely hard. One is not greater than the other. They are different.

I can say with utmost authority, that we CANNOT downplay eachother's times of "hard". We cannot diminish someone's current "hard" by comparing it to their previous "hard". We cannot say superficial phrases to pacify someone's current struggles with their "hard". 

Friends, we have got to carry each other's burdens. We have got to exhort. We have got to encourage. If we just say something so cliche to just....acknowledge that we heard them...what are we doing?!

Women who've gone through the burdens and struggles of young motherhood--I am speaking to you. 

Friends of the women who cannot seem to get pregnant, yet so desperately desire motherhood--I am speaking to you. 

Mothers of young children, who are walking this path--I am speaking to you. 

EVERYTHING we do, will help shape the mothers of today--the children they are mothering. THAT IS THE GREATEST burden!!! If all we can say is "It's just a season" or "But do you remember before?', how are we encouraging each other. How are we directing each other to Christ. How are we carrying each other's burdens to the best of our ability? Have we become so busy and infatuated with ourselves that we forget that there are serious hurts in someone's path of infertility? Deep doubts in the young mothers trying to raise their children? Vast canyons of overwhelmedness in the woman's spirit? 

As someone who dealt with less infertility and miscarriages than others, I ask that you please remember those women as you speak. Be thoughtful in your words. Be kind in your dealings. Be courteous in your actions.

 As a young mother, I ask that you listen to us young mothers. Be gracious in your compliments. Be thoughtful in your suggestions. Be generous with your time. Be abundant with your encouragement. Be reminded of your own journey through motherhood and do not downplay it. Yes it is a season, but with your help, it can be a springtime of seasons, rather than a winter. 

And everyone. Please remember the hard. The hard is hard. We do not have the authority to compare the hard, but we do have the ability to help the hard. 
 "Carry each other’s burdens, and in this way you will fulfill the law of Christ." Galatians 6:2
*** I only wrote what I have personally dealt with. I know there is so much other hard than what I have experienced. We ought to still carry the commands of Christ in our heart and carry each other's burdens. Just as many hands make light work, many hands make a heavy burden light.*** 

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