Today is our 4th year Anniversary! I was just thinking about all the adventures, good and bad we've had the last few years. For one, we got married...that was fun. I think of Ruth 1:16 "... Don’t urge me to leave you or to turn back from you. Where you go I will go, and where you stay I will stay. Your people will be my people and your God my God. Where you die I will die, and there I will be buried. May the Lord deal with me, be it ever so severely, if even death separates you and me"
I think about our honeymoon, and the adventures that entailed--Duane, the ER in a different city, trying to ward off the Jamaicans to not keep asking us to buy stuff, the ridiculous rainfall, watching Mall Cop on the boat whilst sitting in the hot tub, Dunn's River Falls, the museum, the aquarium, and last but not least, the buffets! It was our first great learning adventure, and I treasure it because of that.I remember our first year anniversary--going to Colorado for a few days by our selves, shopping and relaxing. I remember in our second year, we went on a trip with our friends instead. I remember having to put our arguments away for a change (at the time). I remember how much fun we had exploring together, Pike's Peak donuts, shopping, Jamba Juice, I remember our first vacation like adventure that we had planned.
I remember buying our first house and being able to celebrate our third anniversary in our house! I remember going to Beauty and the Beast, I remember you surprising me with Maximus (a legit surprise). Unfortunately, I still remember arguing with you all the time too. I was not a nice wife, that's for sure. Learning how to deal with each other is another adventure...one we may never stop being on.
In the midst of this third year I remember being excited to announce this little joy. I remember taking the pictures, telling friends and family, I remember the happiness and completion we felt. And I remember it all crashing down in a day. I remember the hurt, the pain, the ache in our hearts that we had lost our little Nathaniel. I remember the utter despair I felt.
I remember acting on faith with the nursery, and the morning we found out that there was hope again. I remember the flood of emotions, fear at first, then the ultimate calming from our Lord. I remember dreaming, hoping, praying. I remember preparing, I remember being happy, I remember how much we clung to each other in love. Something that we did just a few short weeks later, when we learned that this child too, had found their home in heaven. I remember thinking that the despair I felt before was no comparison to having to decide to terminate the pregnancy. I remember the roller coasters of hope that it was a misdiagnosis,and the reality that it probably wasn't. I remember the world crashing down with it's weight on me, and me crushing it to you.
In between these two pregnancies, I remember going on a trip of a lifetime with your family. I remember the delicious salmon, the delectable food (right babe), I remember the jokes, and the laughter around the table every night for supper). I remember seeing whales for the first time in Seattle--orcas no less! I remember seeing so much wildlife, and going on so many adventures! The jeeps, the canoe, the shopping (because with me, that's always an adventure), the bears, the ocean, the hiccups, Chuck Swindoll, the entertainment. I remember so much. "Your people shall be my people". Your family is my family, and I am so blessed that you have brought me into it so willingly and lovingly. I remember your words of love to me on the trip, to encourage me, to strengthen me. I remember you gaining a lot of weight (sorry, too funny not to mention). I remember feeling relief from the weight of the world.
I remember after losing our last child, you surprised me with Maci. You don't particularly like dogs, but I remember you going out of your way to give me her, to help heal my broken heart. I am so thankful for her and Maximus. They have soothed me many times, when you don't even know. They have a sense of knowing when something is wrong. Thank you for her and Maximus.
Over the last 4 years, I look at our adventures. Some in the valley's, some on the mountains (actually quite literally). I think of the vows we took, "For better or worse". Simeon, you have been my better. You have made me better. Ultimately, you have stuck with me through my worse yet, even when I was pushing you away. Our adventures may not always be grand. Our adventures may not always be pleasant. Our adventures may not always be so dismal. Our adventures will be just that--ours, no one else's. One thing I know, because of the love that Christ gives us to actually love each other, that we will be looking forward, with delight, and with readiness at whatever adventure comes next. I love you and words cannot describe how thankful and happy I am that I get to face our adventures to come, with you. I love you. Happy Anniversary.